


Do You Love Me?

by astudyincastiel



Category: Final Fantasy VIII
Genre: Gen, unpopular opinions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-06
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2018-03-16 16:10:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3494660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyincastiel/pseuds/astudyincastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's worth consideration.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Love Me?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a Lyrics Challenge on Livejournal ages ago. _[19] "I think I love you, or maybe it's just the fumes."_
> 
> I remember that writing this was somehow a little freeing, as I finally found a way to express my view of their relationship.

"Do you love me?" Her arms around me; her hands finding their way under my jacket to rest on the small of my back.

"Yeah." Noncommittal, but she doesn't seem to notice. Isn't that what I'm supposed to say? Something like that anyhow. Maybe she'll go away now; I need to practice. Ultimecia is waiting. I have to be ready.

Her arms tighten, pulling her closer, and she tucks her head under my chin. I can feel her nails digging into my back as she clings to my shirt. "It's a silly question...but I just felt like I had to make sure." She peers up at me, smiling despite my uninterested expression, and kisses me on the cheek. The smile fades then, and she rests her head on my shoulder again.

I wish she wouldn't. I wish she'd let go. It's awkward; I have no idea what to do and she doesn't really give me any hints. It's not like waltzing...Doesn't she realize?

"...Squall?" She's quiet for a moment, as if waiting for me to answer or pay attention -as if I had any other choice. "Are you scared of going in there?" She doesn't look at me this time, just seems to move closer and almost laughs. She doesn't give me time to answer, though I'm not sure I would have anyway. "Of course you're not, right?" Pause. "Well I am..."

She goes silent again and turns slightly to bury her face in my neck. I don't remember doing it, but one of my arms is around her now. It's what I'm supposed to do...right? The position is almost comfortable. I think. Like that time in space where she sat on my lap. I try to enjoy it; I know I'm supposed to, if the way Irvine grins when Selphie hangs on him is any indication. But honestly...it might just be too much too soon; I don't remember people ever...touching me so much before.

"But...you'll protect me, won't you?" She steps back, releasing me just enough to let her hands rest at my waist, and smiles again. She really is rather pretty; she reminds me of someone but I can't figure out who. I'm lucky, aren't I, that someone like her wants to be with me...loves me...She could probably have anyone at all; she could probably do better.

"Yeah." Of course I'll protect her. I didn't chase her into space and break her out of the Memorial to let something happen to her now. I can't let anything happen to her. I...need her...? She reaches up to brush her thumb across my lips as I frown, not seeming the least but perturbed when I turn my face away.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." It suddenly occurs to me that I might be wrong. I like to think I'm never wrong, even though I know that can't possibly be true. How could I have forgotten; it was so important weeks ago. That contract. She's still my client, even if everything has become so much more than the occupation of Timber. She's my responsibility. All those times I ran after her, saved her, protected her...Was I doing it because I need her, love her, or because it's my job to do it? What sort of SeeD would I be if I let harm come to my client? When did that duty become lost in this illusion of a relationship?

"You don't expect me to believe that do you?" She tugs playfully at one of my belts; I think she wants me to look at her again, but I can't. She sighs when I continue to stare at the wall and lets her hands drop away. "Fine," she says, "go ahead and brood, but I'll get more than just a glare out of you someday, mister."

Another kiss on the cheek, and this time she pokes me in the side before finally stepping away and going out into the hall. She calls for Angelo, and I can hear the dog barking excitedly as he races to meet her. She coos at him, and they play in front of the door for a bit before they finally wander off.

I know I have things to do, but I can't make myself move. It's a lot to take in, what I think I just realized and it says a lot of things about me; things I might have been better off never realizing for myself.

Maybe someday she will get more out of me than just a glare, but there's no guarantee that it's going to be something she'll like.


End file.
